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July 08, 2005

A Summary of The Day's News

Someone on our car club forum trawled the 'net and came across a raft of people's quotes and news from yesterday. Puts things into perspective I reckon, see what you think ;-)

A series of quotations and news from across the 'net:
Just showing the great British spirit....

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Coping with emergencies the British way: The nearest branch of Pret has sold out of chocolate cake.
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Photo of the statue of Edith Cavell, British nurse who was killed in the first world war:
"Patriotism is not enough: I must have no hatred or bitterness for anyone".
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These terrorists are rubbish.

They'll be caught next week, having successfully demonstrated that the British react to terrorism with indifference. We grew up with it, you see. What with this being a civilised country, they will not receive the death penalty, but be locked up for the rest of their lives, to be regularly sodomised by other inmates while they slowly realise that their interpretation of their religion is a pile of old hokum. Whoops.
Meanwhile, I'll be out in London, partying.

HAVEN'T WE SUFFERED ENOUGH?
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I'm watching the news, I do it occasionally, it seems like a good time to do so. And I'm seeing a guy who was blown off his feet by a bus going up, but basically he's okay and being interviewed. And, shock allowed, he's pretty much laughing it off. Another interview, a woman who was on the tube, just the same response but maybe a little more detailed. I love the UK sometimes, I really do. What happened is horrible, I don't diminish it and I hope those responsible are suitably punished, possibly with chainsaws ... but if they wanted terror well, they probably shouldn't have gone to London. Not because Londoners are particularly braver than anyone else (although they might be, have you seen the prices there?) but because they've walked through a helluva lot worse than that.

Nice try, no cigar.

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People saying 'I've lived in London for four years, I'm sort of prepared for this sort of thing.'
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"Speaking on behalf of the people of Essex, we are standing by you the peoples of Londonia in these trying times. Mainly because Suffolk won't swap places with us."
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As lithium_doll pointed out, the witnesses on the news seem to be very calm. Most of the Londoners are more concerned with how they're getting to work tomorrow, and act as though it's all a rather distateful inconvenience.
HURRAH!
The great British Spirit triumphs once again! Take that, Al Quaeda. You tried to spread panic with your terrorist ways, but you hadn't counted on a nation of repressed, stiff-upper-lip Brits who refuse to show unseemly emotion in public! People are generally spooked, but quickly contacting their friends and making plans to deal with the disruption. Good on you!
Of course, as someone pointed out already, we're used to this sort of thing - we had the IRA going at London (and Brighton when I was there) for a while now. The novelty is gone for anyone over a certain age. (I have to be careful about saying "oh, we're used to terrorist scum being murderous fatherless childs, we had the IRA do it" on the international political LJ's, it tends to offend some folks. Folks who can f**k off, clearly). And as someone else on my flist said (approximately):
"Blimey, I didn't think the French would be THAT upset..."

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BBC Parliament internal email: NEWSFLASH: There has been a widespread outbreak of grumbling and tutting today in
London, along with a large number of people going home instead of to work, with a certain amount of guilty pleasure. Sorry, bad guys. We've been bombed before, and we just adjust our day to account for it. This is London calling.

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"I'd like to congratulate today's terrorists for achieving nothing but instilling a fierce patriotism back into the British Isles, creating a rather wide-spread rash of Blitz Spirit, and giving me a day off work. I'm a bit p***** off that you nearly blew up some of my friends, but at the end of the day - you failed. We're still here, we're not scared of you."
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From the BBC website: statement from Al Qaeda:
"Britain is now burning with fear, terror and panic in its northern, southern, eastern, and western quarters".

Erm really... where? I think you will find that's a reaction to the winning the Olympics bid or perhaps just the effect Bush has on us when he visits?!
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When the bombs went off in the tubes everyone just went out and huffed because it was inconvenient. Within minutes people were making jokes about, "I knew the french were bad losers, but.."
It's the Great British spirit of, "Oh well, f**k it, shall we go the pub?"
Were people running around like chickens with their heads cut off? No.
People were concerned and trying to help or thinking of a solution. Or even, "Great, how do I get to work NOW?"
We've had a tragedy and it's awful, but we personally can't do anything about it.
Fancy a pint?
Yeah, alright.
We rock, plain and simple.
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When the news reporter said "Shopkeepers are opening their doors bringing out blankets and cups of tea" I just smiled. It's like yes. That's Britain for you. Tea solves everything.

You're a bit cold?
- Tea.
Your boyfriend has just left you?
- Tea.
You've just been told you've got cancer?
- Tea.
Coordinated terrorist attack on the transport network bringing the city to a grinding halt?
- TEA DAMMIT!
And if it's really serious, they may bring out the coffee. The Americans have their alert raised to red, we break out the coffee. That's for situations more serious than this of course. Like another England penalty shoot-out [in soccer].
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"It's hard to panic the British. They've dealt with the Blitz, the IRA, the Silurians, the Zarbi, the Daleks, the Cybermen..."
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To quote an old Londoner who lived through the blitz and got caught up in the Canary Wharf explosion: "I've been blown up by a better class of fatherless child than this!"
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"We took on the Romans, the Saxons, the Danes, the French, William Wallace, the Black Plague, the Roundheads, the Great Fire, Napoleon, the Nazis, and the Blitz, and we're still here. You terrorists are bloody amateurs."
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"They're asking everyone to stay within the office."
"Oh. What about lunch?"
"Er..."
"We can go out for lunch, right?"
"No!"
"Well are you ordering pizza or something?"
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From Metaquotes:
"Al Qaeda say: 'Britain is now burning with fear, terror and panic in its northern, southern, eastern, and western quarters.' female dog, please. Osama, you live in a f**king cave. You're like an evil Batman or something. No wonder you have a thing for blowing up commuters, because you will never commute because you live in a cave. You see transport, and you are filled with rage, because you? Live in a cave. You could try forming a political wing to... oh, wait, you can't because YOU LIVE IN A CAVE. t**t.

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The BBC paused news coverage to show *Eastenders*. That'd be the nationwide fear, terror and panic, then."

Posted by alan at July 8, 2005 02:03 PM

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