Flossie’s Tales

Walking to and from work will not help me a) save cash nor b) lose weight if I then eat a chocolate muffin with my lunch.

Well, one of them.
On my way to purchase a gift for someone I hardly know, in a car I’ve never driven, through an unfamiliar city the warning light flashes on. I check all the other dashboard lights. We’re low on fuel too.
On the way back the signposts stop showing my destination. I vaguely recognise somewhere else, close to where I [...]

Trust your instincts, not the roadsigns.

The bathroom, I share with three boys. Amongst the shampoos, toothpastes and nasal hair trimmers on the windowsill are a selection of magazines. Tentatively I flicked through the titles.
Volkswagen World (March 2008)
The ubiquitous Loaded (June 2008) and
The Lego Catalogue (Summer 2008)
The only up to date magazine is the Lego magazine. I guess that tells you [...]

The still warm tumble drier contained my socks. My five pairs of new socks.
If I was to take out one sock, what’s the likelihood of the next sock giving me a matching pair?
One in nine. Sadly, it wasn’t to be.
By now I had two different coloured socks, and the pool of potential socks was diminishing. [...]

Everyone feels like they do more than their fair share of chores. Surely we can’t all be right?

The sun was well on its way to the horizon on my walk home. As I passed the park my thoughts had turned to what I’d cook for tea when I stopped. I looked across at three trees, standing together. There was something about the bark.
The first tree had an almost smooth bark, with just a few [...]

I trudged on autopilot to the Metro platform in time to see the last carriage of the train disappear into the tunnel. I was so tired my disappointment hardly registered. I flipped a bright yellow seat and leant against it.
My stuperous body was in shutdown; my temperature dropping, I started shivering gently. Pulling my coat [...]

So what shall we get for the colleague that’s leaving next week?
There’s a lovely stuffed pheasant at my local antiques shop.
[Update: They've plumped for the stuffed weasel instead. Less of a storage issue, apparently]

Trusting autocorrect can be unwise, even if you’re unsure yourself.
Complaining that the resolution a headline banner was too low I typed that it was ‘horrifically pixelated’. This was immediately corrected to pixilated.
I wasn’t so sure.
A quick straw poll of the office suggested we were right and the computer was wrong.
I checked the definition:
Pixilated: an adjective [...]