Flossie’s Tales

How do you stop meatballs from sticking to the pan?
Are you using the non-stick pan?
What’s a non-stick pan?
Bless him, The Young Pup is cooking again.

Oh no. It’s raining. Let me put my hood up.
It’s only water, you wuss.
Water is dangerous. You can *drown*!

But I want to go with Daddy.
Just stay here with your Auntie Flossie for a bit. Daddy will be back very soon.
But I want to go with Daddy.
Arms are flung and feet kick against the car seat. My nephew grumbles and calls after his father who, by now, is out of earshot. In hope or [...]

He takes my hand and leads me to the window.
‘The moon‘ He says proudly.
‘Yes, it is. Bachgen Da‘ I tell him
Just to the right there’s another bright spot. I ask him if he can see it.
He nods.
‘That’s Venus‘ I tell him. ‘It looks like a bright star, but it is a planet‘
Venus. He repeats after [...]

There’s no coffee in the coffee.
Then what’s it made of?
Dark water.

No, I haven’t just stubbed a toe. I’m watching rugby.

I quite like having a dinky little one, so to speak.
Well, not from my boss, anyhow.

Can you tell me where the Wild Thyme is?
Sorry love, this is a garden centre, not Ayia Napa.

Do you know the odd thing about being in Newcastle?
No.
Everyone goes on about the Tyne bridge, but you never see it. I can’t see it from the city centre, I can’t see it from work. I can’t see it from where I live and rarely go anywhere near it.
You know why, don’t you?
No.
It goes to [...]

A colleague of mine has really curly hair. Despite not being able to compete in the ringlets department we were comparing curl difficulties.
I said that I didn’t like my hair but that here, you and I disagreed.
‘If it wasn’t for my hair and eyes, he would never have remembered me.’ I said about our getting [...]