Flossie’s Tales

I wandered into the lab:
I’m here to independently verify the efficacy of training.
Nothing to do with there being liquid nitrogen ice-cream.
Not at all.

In a relatively serious conversation about my future career I commented
‘I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.’
‘Let’s worry about that when it happens’ came PMCs reply.

Steamed fish on your manifold is easier.

‘Do you want a bar of chocolate?’ said GME, one of my housemates.
‘No, thanks, I’ve just had my tea’
‘No, seriously, I’ve got loads’ he said, opening his kitchen cupboard.
Inside two shelves were stacked high with bars. I look at him, questioningly.
‘Feeling peckish were you?’
He had been working at an event where they were giving away [...]

‘If you can’t clean your dishes, I hate to think what your undies are like’ says the note in the kitchen.
I couldn’t have put it better myself.

How do you stop meatballs from sticking to the pan?
Are you using the non-stick pan?
What’s a non-stick pan?
Bless him, The Young Pup is cooking again.

Oh no. It’s raining. Let me put my hood up.
It’s only water, you wuss.
Water is dangerous. You can *drown*!

But I want to go with Daddy.
Just stay here with your Auntie Flossie for a bit. Daddy will be back very soon.
But I want to go with Daddy.
Arms are flung and feet kick against the car seat. My nephew grumbles and calls after his father who, by now, is out of earshot. In hope or [...]

He takes my hand and leads me to the window.
‘The moon‘ He says proudly.
‘Yes, it is. Bachgen Da‘ I tell him
Just to the right there’s another bright spot. I ask him if he can see it.
He nods.
‘That’s Venus‘ I tell him. ‘It looks like a bright star, but it is a planet‘
Venus. He repeats after [...]

There’s no coffee in the coffee.
Then what’s it made of?
Dark water.