Flossie’s Tales

Don’t put a Creme Egg in your back pocket.

Clean the hob after cooking the roast beetroot risotto.

Phones and keyboards are different. The telephone will not respond to typed numbers on a keyboard. Press ‘1′.

Remove specs before emptying a steamy dishwasher.

I’m glad men can stand to go to the loo. Particularly when their backs are to the door. That way, I have no idea if my housemate realises he didn’t lock the door and I walked in on him mid pee.

When reverse parking on sheet ice, do so very slowly.

How many pipecleaners are used for cleaning pipes?

No, I haven’t just stubbed a toe. I’m watching rugby.

When removing an awkward shelf, unscrew the most difficult bolts first – before you also need to support the weight.

If the stir-fry last night was hot, the leftovers for lunch will be HOT.