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June 22, 2005

a box of leeway

You’ve got to give yourself permission.
It’s okay.
Do what you want.
Do what you feel.
For only then will your work carry conviction and weight.
Good or bad just simply doesn’t come into it.

Or so I keep trying to tell myself.

But trying to tie down what I feel is a hard nut to crack. It’s not like feeling cold, or feeling hungry. It’s like looking for the door in the dark: when you look straight at it you can’t see it. It’s an almost dream-like feeling; one of those dreams when you’re vaguely aware it’s a dream.

My feelings seem always just out of reach, yet they have a profound effect on me. Sometimes the feeling is so powerful it’s hard to contain. I wistfully imagine that if I could just find the door I could do fantastic things.

Posted by john at June 22, 2005 08:55 AM

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