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December 03, 2005

A fairly typical day

There are several big drawings up in the studio at the moment. Some for reference, some for working on. And I wander about among them. Looking at them, not happy with the two I’m working on. They annoy me, they don’t work, they look awkward.

I know why, it’s the mouth on one, it’s the breasts on the other. But I can’t start in on them. I pick up the charcoal, but I can’t use it. I do the usual pastimes, I move stuff around, I look at pictures, I prime panels, I keep glancing at the drawings, at the charcoal on the table. I’m frightened of something. I’m frightened of making them worse – after all I got them into this state, maybe I’ll fuck up some more and it’ll all get horrible and nasty.

Then, without really knowing how, at 23.45, I kick a box up to the easel*, I pick up the eraser and the charcoal, and start doing what I’ve known all day I must do.

It takes that long to get from this:

head-1.jpg

to this:

head-2.jpg

and I’m still not happy – happier, but not happy.

*the drawings are big - large than lifesize.

Posted by john at December 3, 2005 12:23 AM

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