The Beginning of Something New

Well, it's 6:30am and I've not been able to sleep very much. A sign of how disrupted a sleep I've had could be taken from the fact Spitfire is sitting asleep on the floor.

I'm off on the Advanced Course, as it's called, later today. And the fear and excitement of the prospect of it has been immense.

It's also 10 months since Jules died. And normally I'd be sitting here and typing this, tears rolling down my cheeks. Except I'm not. I'm smiling, laughing, giggling about all the amazing things we did and had. Okay, I lie, I'm now crying. Except, I'm crying because I'm crying. Not in sorrow, bereavement, as I understood it 2 weeks ago. I'm crying at the beauty of what I'm thinking. I'm crying because I'm so happy that Jules was in my life, and is complete and in my thoughts. Wow.

Watch this space as the next 4 days unfold, dear reader. I'm told I will be a different person come Sunday, someone you no longer recognise. And that, I believe, is what's causing me the emotions I'm feeling now.

About Alan Bell

Lapsed: electronic engineer, scout leader, project controller.
Now: Oracle Primavera training consultant, business support manager, occasional website designer.

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This page contains a single entry by published on March 17, 2005 6:31 AM.

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